It is Official, I am my Father.
Rants and Tips for the iGen kids to solve their problems.
I knew it would eventually happen. The realization that I am getting older. Not saying I am old, as at this point I am 29, but it has finally happened. I am turning into my parents in looking at these younger kids, or the “iGen” or “Generation Z”, or whatever you want to call them. It took all of 29 years for me to become my dad and rail on the kids younger than me. It took 29 years for me to realize that all the years of him ranting and raving on how stupid kids are, for me to realize that what he was saying about “my” generation, is the same old stuff that I feel about the generation that is under me, and it came by way of Netflix, social media, and sadly, the news.
So technically according to the chart, I am a millennial, and for the longest time, we have been getting blamed for a lot of the dumb shit, that technically wasn't our fault. It was the fault of the generation below us, the Generation Z's. For those of you that are unaware, Generation Z's are the group of people who were born between 1995-2012. Now don’t worry Gen Z’s we millennials are partly to blame because for the most part we are the older siblings, and older friends and you watched us do stupid shit because we are the ones who grew up on shows like Jackass. Here is the problem, not only have you done way dumber shit than we did, but you also want to act like a victim when people tell you how stupid you are. Furthermore, you are also the same people, that need safe spaces and consider everything offensive because you were raised as a spineless, little crybaby who needs everything handed to you or else you will ball up and cry and make mommy and daddy go to the school raising hell. You are the participation trophy generation, the look at my social media and see how great I am generation, you are the Tide Pod generation, and sadly, you are the generation that will take over the country one day.
Now before any of you get to bent out of shape, I realize not ALL of you have partaken in the stupidity of a lot of the things, but just for simplicity, you are all getting lumped into one big group. Just like every generation has before you, so don’t get all offended, because newsflash: You are not that special. So let's just into a few of the dumbass things this generation has provided us over the last couple of years. The infamous Tide-Pod challenge. Yes, a dissolving plastic pod, filled with soap that contains: ethanol, hydrogen peroxide and long-chain polymers that can result in caustic burns to the lining of one's mouth, esophagus, stomach and other parts of the intestinal tract. A product made for washing clothes, in which on the box says "Do Not Swallow or Ingest", and yet we had these idiots doing this online challenge of eating a tide pod and filming it and getting sick. Not only getting sick but being SHOCKED when they got sick. Now I realize that other, older people tried this as well, but for the majority, it was this generation of entitled dumbasses who have surprisingly made it this far in life. But for the older ones who did try it, shame on you for lumping yourself in with this group of people. So for you "iGen” kids, here is a tip: If there is a product, that has the poison control hotline on the box, DO NOT EAT OR DRINK IT!!!!!
Now, who knew I would have to say something like that, personally like the popular meme says: " We shouldn't kill stupid people, just remove the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out", I agree, but that is much too barbaric apparently which leads the next problem. When these kids have the outright truth bestowed upon them, they then need a safe space because apparently words hurt. Now again here comes the “old” man in me, when I was a kid, the rule was, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Fast forward to the “iGen” kids, and dear lord, they are hurt by words that someone said before they were even born. The Dave Chappelle special on Netflix titled "Sticks and Stones" is the perfect example of this. A comedian who came out and told some jokes, with the truth mixed in was considered offensive, vulgar and damn near hate speech. Ok kids, go back and watch old videos of George Carlin, Red Fox, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Andrew Dice Clay, and then tell me how you feel after that because what Chappelle said in his special, was nothing compared to what these guys said on EVERYthing they ever did. Do you know what the difference was? People laughed and knew it was a guy telling jokes. For those that didn't like it, guess what, they didn't watch, listen, or attend their shows. As opposed to you guys, I will watch, listen, or attend a show, and be looking for something to complain about. Tip for "iGen” kids, if you don’t like the show, change the channel. No one cares about your delicate little feelings. Toughen up, cause you all are at that age, where life is about to hit you dead in the fucking face and you are going to have to step up big time.
Long gone are the days of Rush, Skynyrd, Zepplin, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Johnny Cash, George Strait, Alan Jackson, Hank Williams Jr. and several, several, other great artists and bands who performed before today's music hit. I realize some of the artists listed still perform and put out records, but they are no longer in their prime as they mostly just play the hits that still play today and have a huge audience today. Now we are stuck with Beyonce, Billie Eilish, Rhianna, and rappers who are all Yung, Big or Lil with this new advent, of talentless “mumble” rap, and the god awful Cardi B. Sorry kids, it’s trash the sad part is, you are all too much in denial to realize it. These are ACTUAL LYRICS from a Cardi B song called “BickenHead”, as taken from a google search called “stupid Cardi B lyrics, and they are as follows:
Goes for all my nasty hoes, yeah
(Alright-alright, alright, alright, alright, alright)
From across the globe, woo (hol' up)
This goes for all my nasty hoes, yeah
(Alright-alright, alright, alright, alright, alright)
From across the globe, look, uh
Now, I said luxury apartments (wow), I'm young and I'm heartless (yeah)
There's a bitch that's in my vision, that bitch is a target (brrr)
Lawyer is a Jew, he gon' chew up all the charges
Don't matter if you fuck with me, I get money regardless (cash)
Wow, what touching, heartfelt sentiment in those lyrics. I bet that it was extremely painful for her to write down this heartfelt, emotional words of troubling times. Look I get it, there doesn't always need to be emotional turmoil in every song, some songs can be just fun and party songs or whatnot. Here is the issue. This is most if not all of her songs. The bigger issue, this is most if not all of the most popular music today. Don't even get me started on the new country, or country rap bullshit everyone is trying to put out so people can go out, get drunk, and mud ride and tear shit up and then wonder why they are broke. The problem with today's music is, it's all computer-generated drum beats of sampled songs, with the same hook repeated over and over and over. Florida Georgia Line isn’t country music. Blake Shelton isn’t country music. Sam Hunt isn’t country music. Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Cardi B, Drake these are not musicians. These are entertainers. There is a difference. Know the difference. By the way for those of you youngsters who don't know. Drake isn't some hard ass, he was on a teen show about a bunch of kids who grew up in the affluent neighborhood Forest Hills in Toronto. So for all of his trash talk and whatnot, remember his name is Aubrey, who was apart of the Canadian equivalent to Boy Meets World, and he grew up in a rich neighborhood. Yea, he is a real G for sure. Tip for "iGens": Know the difference between artists, musicians, and entertainers. Because there is a HUGE difference.
Then we go on to the basic skills of life. Just the everyday language, and overall life skills. Now I came to this realization while watching Netflix, and other tv shows that just randomly had kids in this age group, and realized that the more I listened to these people, I felt dumber. Like I could feel my IQ dropping with each word, or alleged word these kids were saying. I say alleged words because, for the most part, you can't understand a damn word they are saying. They all mumble, and have these stupid phrases and words like, swag, fleek, among other ridiculous, nonsensical words. I know you guys think it's cool, or "gangsta”, but do me a favor: Watch King of the Hill, and listen to Boomhauer, and that is EXACTLY how you sound. You sound like a guy, who is in an animated, comedy cartoon. But yet, you go out in everyday life, sounding like that, and then want to act like your someone special, when people ask you to repeat yourself. I hope this is all making sense to you, youngsters, as I haven't put in any text language, or emojis, if you have trouble, please ask your parents. Tip for "iGens": Open your mouth, and speak using actual words. If you are with your friends, that is one thing, but out in public, if you can't dress like you have some sense, you can at the very least speak as you do. There are programs online that can help with this. Or there are programs IN SCHOOL that can help with this. Go ask a teacher, they will tell you all about it.
I could go on and on and on about all of this but as I was writing I had a great idea, of making this sort of a mini-series if you will. I will write a few of these to help out these "iGen” kids to help lead them along the way. But Millennials, we are to blame for this as well, as we are the group raising these kids, or lack of raising these kids. In case you were wondering Millennials are considered from 1980-1994, so yes, if you born after 80, and have a kid, you are a part of the problem. It is not too late. Put down your oxy’s, park your side by side, pull your pants up, cap the Henny, and get your kids on track.
Until Next Time,
DO NOT EAT TIDE PODS
Open your mouth and use actual words.
There is no safe space in life, toughen up and get over it.